Living on a tiny rock in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea meant nothing to me as a child. It was all that I knew: vast blue sea, endless hot and sunny days, large loud families, strict Roman Catholic heritage and centuries old architecture were the norm to me. My eyes were open to the world beyond at the young age of 8, when my parents moved me and my big brother to New York City. Thats where I experienced my first glimpse at how tall buildings can actually get, cultures I didn't even know existed and found out that football can also be played using the upper body. Traumatizing at first... but once I had accepted it, it turned into an unimaginable life changer.
This latter fact only solidified itself when I moved back to Malta as a teenager. Something I didn't have a choice in doing as I was not yet an adult and my parents thought I'd learn to like. As a stubborn 13 year old, this was not a change I was willing to easily accept. I might have been born in Malta but I wasn't Maltese at this point. I was raised as an American. I'd only spent 5 years in the country but those 5 years turned me into a full blooded American. Lets just say that moving an American teenager away from her friends right before she starts high school is not a good idea.... Moving them to a rock in the sea is, well... the equivalent to prison, and it felt like that for a long while. I swore that I'd go back when I turned 18. I told my parents that I was not meant to live on an island away from the bigger world I knew existed. At the time they went along with my ranting about New York and laughed if I started crying about it....then I turned 18.
I knew it was going to take a lot to convince my mom to move back to New York and I knew I had to prepare myself for a fight. I armed myself with college booklets and leaflets I had ordered online from universities in the city. I got phone numbers and addresses of advisers and even planned out the transportation I'd take to get to these prospective universities. My father had already moved to New York the previous year, which meant that it would be easier for my mom to accept what was coming to her. I landed in New York three weeks after I unleashed my plans on my parents.
2005-2010 were the best years of my life. I grew up in so many ways and learned so much in such a little time frame. I am so proud of myself for taking such a huge step and going after something I wanted with all my being..... Wait.. that sounds a little selfish... It wasn't only my decision, my parents sacrificed a lot in the process. They didn't have to move back to New York in their late 50s, but they did for me when they saw how serious I was and how much I wanted it. They are quite honestly the most supportive and loving parents around. They did everything they could for me and for that I love them eternally.
During those 5 years I worked my butt off in retail, made an immense amount of friends and got the degree in Art History I initially moved to the states for... but for some reason I wasn't happy. I came down to Malta on vacation in 2010 for 6 weeks. During the third week I met up with my Maltese friends for a weekend "getaway" (can't get away from anything on an island that you can barely see on a map, but anywho..), hearing them talk about their lives on the islands, the trips they've taken to other close by European countries and the independence they have in their own lives made me want it too. So right then I decided to move back...
This time I am 24 years old.... Slightly older and wiser. I can safely say that this move is for good. Although I initially moved for the innocent idea of independence, I've come to realize a deeper longing for belonging. I am, as previously stated, an American at heart through my upbringing, but my roots are Maltese. For the first time, I think EVER, I am appreciating the fact that I am Maltese. I am accepting tradition and getting used to the fact that public transportation does get worse than the MTA. This blog is a chronicle of my return to those roots that run deeper than a few years in New York but centuries into the past of the Mediterranean..
